Tuesday, December 2, 2008

post op

And I'm emotionally wrecked. Six years of build up, trying to be strong, figuring out what to do, watching carefully, testing, surgery, phone calls, grief, acceptance, and everything just came spilling out in the form of tears dripping on my husband's shirt.

When your child says, "I don't like this. It hurts. Why did I have to have surgery? Why was I born without an ear?" and you don't have an answer, it's quite possibly the most painful feeling I've ever experienced.

I've wanted, since the moment she was born, to take this from her and bear it myself. So has John. But, this is her journey. My prayer is that she'll come out of the other end of this path stronger, wiser, and full of hope, and the reason for all of this struggle will reveal itself to all of us.

All the wise thoughts that I have don't take away the kick in the gut of your daughter crying and asking why she was born the way she was.

I'll update details on the surgery tomorrow. I needed to put this out of my head tonight.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Karen, big hugs from our family to yours. Kelley is such a gift, and her gift is her spirit that exudes joy and spunk. Today was hard for her, but I know that her spirit will kick in again, and it's that spirit that God gifted her, that spirit that will define her life... not her ear. You know that, and I bet she even knows that deep inside.

I'm so sorry it was a rough day. Wish I could give you a real hug, my friend.

Love,

Julie

paisleydragonfly said...

Karen, hard stuff. I'm glad you had a cry... you need to do that every once in a while. I have no words of wisdom but what a lucky girl to have you and my brother for parents.
Hugs,
Denise

supermom said...

Oh boy. That is so difficult. How do you explain that to a little girl. My thoughts are with you...especially her.

supermom said...

Oh boy. That is so difficult. How do you explain that to a little girl. My thoughts are with you...especially her.

Lisa said...

I came across your blog, its amazing she is a doll, please update, would love to see how she is going.
I ahev a 2 year old son with microtia and your blog is so insppiring to me
Lisa
x