post op

And I'm emotionally wrecked. Six years of build up, trying to be strong, figuring out what to do, watching carefully, testing, surgery, phone calls, grief, acceptance, and everything just came spilling out in the form of tears dripping on my husband's shirt.

When your child says, "I don't like this. It hurts. Why did I have to have surgery? Why was I born without an ear?" and you don't have an answer, it's quite possibly the most painful feeling I've ever experienced.

I've wanted, since the moment she was born, to take this from her and bear it myself. So has John. But, this is her journey. My prayer is that she'll come out of the other end of this path stronger, wiser, and full of hope, and the reason for all of this struggle will reveal itself to all of us.

All the wise thoughts that I have don't take away the kick in the gut of your daughter crying and asking why she was born the way she was.

I'll update details on the surgery tomorrow. I needed to put this out of my head tonight.